Seamus Butler – Son of Venus
Last Updated on Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:16 Written by owen.ryan Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:16
The time has come again when the media hungry members of Drom-Inch Gaa want another exclusive interview. Who better to interview than famed TI love rat and hurling supreme Mr. Seamus Butler.
I made my way into the love nest of Seamus’ life, the Tipperary Institute.
Onthewing: Well Seamus, this is a very fine college ye have here in Thurles, and is this your own office?
Seamus: Naw, this is where I chill out with my Birds, bring them back here for a bit of lovin, wages we call it here in TI. I always get my wages!
Onthewing: Just to let you know, everything you say will be printed! OK?
Seamus: OK
Onthewing: After a good start to the league, where do you see your club in 5 years time?
Seamus: Well, I see good potential in this parish, theres always new young female talent just coming to the age, 15-16, and hopefully I can get to them before any of the other lads do. I hate sloppy seconds.
Onthewing: Right, mmmm, Ah, you played in the Ryan cup final this year, An All-Ireland, was that the highlight of the year so far?
Seamus: God no! The night after we won it was my best. The women of TI were falling over to get to me, ok, I know I’ve got my wages off all of them before, some twice even three times, but that night I could maul, molest, and feel all of them and they didnt mind really made for a great night. I nearly had a threesome that night. All-Star Mark had to come in and take them, I hate him. He scores too much, it cant be good for him.
Onthewing: Seamus you were a member of the Tipperary Senior Hurling squad last year, what was the experince like?
Seamus: Ah magnificent, I dint even need to chat up women when I was on the panel. They gave us a free suit in early April, I wore it out every weekend solid until October, the women knew I was on the county panel and it was like taking candy from a baby after that!
My Seat Ibiza had to get new shock absorbers its was soo good. I still have the suit, an odd night I still wear it out, but dont print that, the lads will think Im such a knob.
Onthewing: You have played with some of the great Tipperary hurlers, Eoin Kelly, Tommy Dunne, but who is your role model, who do you try and model your self on?
Seamus: Easy answer, to be honest there can only be one answer to this, Enrique Englasis. Do you know he has had over 3,000 women?
My hero, the last thing at night and the first thing in the morning, I think of Enrique and who he is with now. Wow I think I have it good in TI, but if I have to give you a second person it would be .. Peter Stringfellow.
Onthewing: Of all the ups in your life, there must have been some hard times, some match you lost that made you feel down?
Seamus: Yeah I suppose, one night I was out in my Tipp Suit, and this yolk, asked me:
“Who are you? Are you supposed to be, like famous or something?”
…………in all fairness! That was a bad night, the lowest of the low. Other lows include; the time when I wore my shorts back-to-front in a match, there was a few good looking birds at the match, I know, I spent most of the match looking into the stand, another day, I got blood on my lip. God knows what the women thought of me then.
Onthewing: You have been given the label, T.I. Love Rat by your fellow club men, what do you think of that?
Seamus: Well, all I can say is that Im totally open in my dealings with the women in TI, they know about the other women, Im no rat, we’re all one big happy family in TI. Free Education, Free Gear, Free Love! Thats my Motto.
Onthewing: Thanks for giving me your precious time, I will let you out to meet your fanclub of TI ladies pressed against the glass door over there!
Seamus: Ah God, I didnt think you saw them there, that tanned one is Mary, the 50 year old Librarian that Matty was with. Dont print that either.
Onthewing: Hi Mary. .. Hows Matty?? . Good luck.
As I pulled out the gates of TI, I could only wonder of the wild world of Seamus Butler, only now do I know what goes on in that tiny head of his…..Nothing!
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