Paul Collins-The Baby Faced Assassin
Last Updated on Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:12 Written by owen.ryan Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:12
When you mention youth in the parish and underage drinking, one name comes to everyones lips. Paul Collins. Now an established player on the senior team, just out of minor and drinking since he was 15, Onthewing went to find out what all the fuss was about.
Onthewing: Well Paul, hows the craic? Well go in out of the cold. My round, your just a wreck of a young lad. [a pint of Guinness for my good self and a bottle of Smirnoff Black Ice for junior]
Paul: Thanks; Ill get you again. I hope your not going to make a tit out of me in this interview like you do to the rest of them.
Onthewing: No, no. Whatever you say I print. It brings across the true person. Dont drink that too fast either; Ill have to carry you out. [Laughter]
Paul: What do you think I am! 14!!!! [Laughter]
Onthewing: Your playing well this year, tell us why your confidence is so good this year?
Paul: Well FINALLY the lads have figured out how to play along side me, I need about 6/7 easy points a game, you know let them do the hard work, and then I get into my stride, you know, try a little bit harder, may even contest a high ball.
Onthewing: You are now in the big bad world of college, how is that fairing out for you?
Paul: Not the best really. Ok, the course is going well dont get me wrong, but the bouncers around Limerick are, I dont know, picking on me.
Onthewing: No way. Why?
Paul: Well one night, I was on my hands and knees, you know your self, 22 pints, [laughter] and the bouncer wouldnt let me into the Globe! And the globe is the biggest hole going and they told me to go and get coffee. I went off and fell asleep in a ditch somewhere.
Onthewing: Tough all right, well thats what wrong when youre nicknamed the baby faced assassin! Hay, take it handy on the Smirnoff Ice, your nearly half way down.
Paul: Whooo are youu, a bloody polisse ossifer?
Onthewing: Calm down, your slurring your words already. Now that youve made it onto the senior team, how hard will it be to keep your place?
Paul: Seasy ass pie. Am.. theres no-one in the parisssh that can take me plasse. Gust hit me the ball and Ill sscore for ye. Up Drom, Drom, drom drom ..
Onthewing: Relax Paul; the lads in the corner are looking over at you, your some disgrace. What will they be thinking?
Paul: Wats wrong with them. Im jobber as a sudge.
Onthewing: Relax Paul, drink up there and well go somewhere else to finish this off.
Paul: Im able to handle my drunk, its dem dat hass the broblem.
Onthewing: Sorry Paul I shouldnt have brought you in here for your interview. What your mothers mobile number and Ill ring her to collect you?? Paul Paul wake up.. Paul
As Pauls mother comes to collect him from the pub, theres an air of familiarity about all the fuss. (Nothing new to be collecting Paul drunk from Public houses). As I help her carry him into the car, all I can think of is how great it is to be young free and wreckless. There goes Paul Collins, one bottle of Smirnoff Black Ice and hes out for the count, yet we all know hell be back slotting easy points over the bar for the seniors come Friday.
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