Johnathan O’Connor – Tanned and Toned
Last Updated on Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:13 Written by owen.ryan Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:13
Onthewing decided to meet up with one of Drom-Inchs long lost players, Jonathan OConnor. After a spell abroad in the land of OZ, we decided to find out why he really came back! (A hard man to find, we finally caught up with him in Annes Health and Beauty Shop)
Onthewing: Jeasus youre a hard man to find Johnny
Jonathan: Yeah, Im sorry about that. Ever since my trip to Australia Ive been trying to hide from people, you know the way it is being illegal in Australia and all that. So what do you want anyway?
Onthewing: Do you know the interviews that the priests talk about the whole time in the sermons at mass? Yeah, time has come for your interview.
Jonathan: Ah class, do ye take photos as well?
Onthewing: No photos, you can stop looking at the mirror now.
Jonathan: Ok, sorry, I want to look my best you know. So what do you want to know?? My vital measurements? 12 inches from tip to end (shoe size), or what are you after?
Onthewing: No, no . Christ. This is a family orientated club and many young lads read this. What we really want to know, what the club wants to know . Why did you come back?
Jonathan: This is a tough question, but since youre an honest bloke Ill give you an honest answer. When I was in OZ, I kept in touch with what was happening back home in the hurling club. Getting the match reports off the net and so on. And to be frank I wasnt happy with the situation.
Onthewing: Yeah I know what you mean; reading about losses would put you in a bad mood. So you came back to put us back on top, to help us win more matchs?
Jonathan: Yeah right!! I came back because the lads are a disgrace to the Parrish. In all fairness did you ever see the ugly heads on the lads in team photos?? Sur no one would take them seriously, I came back to make those pictures more pretty, to give them more sex appeal.
Onthewing: To give them the X-factor they were looking for?
Jonathan: Thats it, the famous X-factor. I believe I can give this team the X-factor. Its obvious that Im so much better looking than anyone else here.
Onthewing: So why are you here in Annes Health and Beauty Shop?
Jonathan: Well, since I came back to Ireland, well the weather isnt exactly what I call brilliant for keeping my body tan fresh. I come here 4 times a week for a manicure and a session on the sun bed. Its a dog eat dog world out there and I have to try and keep up.
Onthewing: But surly just to give Drom the X-factor your not going to spend so much money on this? You must really hold the club close to your heart.
Jonathan: Well you caught me out there. I have my own summer calendar out in the 3rd of July, so I need to keep looking well. Pablo is my photographer, he can catch the light so brilliant with the lens. Do you think the lads will all buy one?
Onthewing: Oh god yeah, Im sure theyll love the idea! But your playing well this year, youve being putting in a savage effort in training.
Jonathan: Well I think my time has come to stop. Well the Tipperary Star doesnt come to many matchs so I cant get my photo out there, and do you know how hard it is to try and get rid of bruises and cover them up for my photo sessions? Enough is enough. If the Tipp Star doesnt come and take team photos of ME, Im walking and going back to where they really appreciate a talent like me.
Onthewing: Wheres that now Jonathan? Hawaii, San Francisco. Hollywood?
Jonathan: No .Clonakenny
As I leave the room, Johnny turns on the sun bed. Dedicated as ever to the cause I know hell never stop until Drom-Inch finally get the X-factor he so longs for!
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