Frankie De Torrie
Last Updated on Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:11 Written by owen.ryan Tuesday, 15 February 2011 11:11
Ask anyone in Drom-Inch, Whos the biggest bullshitter? And 99% will give you the name Frank McGrath. (Frank being the lad giving you Onthewing as his answer). Onthewing made the long journey up the mountains to meet this bullshitter of inter-parrish fame.
Onthewing: Well Frank, long road up. Its in very good condition for a county road. You could nearly call it a dual carriageway its so big and pot hole free. Does it go anywhere else other than your house?
Frank: No. Its the McGrath express, so I get to the missus quickly and she can get to me. I got the road built and I get to use it. It makes sense to me. And its not a dual carriageway, its a motorway.
Onthewing: Well done there Frank. The lads call you Detorri, tell us Frank we all want to know, why is this?
Frank: Well you know what they say about the little jockeys having big whips? Well the lads were having a laugh one day in the showers and I took out my well whip and started beating them with it such a laugh. So they got a good look at it and ever since theyve called me Detorri, going along with the Jockeys having BIG whips [laughter, from him only]
Onthewing: Its not because its so small. like a Jockey and Detorri is Islamic for prick. So that means little prick?
Frank: No
Onthewing: Youve been compared to a 1-litre engine this year, compared to a 0.4 litre last year, a great bust of energy and the start but no power to keep going. Do you think this is an accurate comparison?
Frank: I dont think so. I have being playing very very well this year. I have been captain for a few matchs. I won the toss in those matchs, I can catch the ball, I can distribute it, I am I can take my score, I, I, I, I am a valued member of the senior team. I also train hard. I think Im irreplaceable, if you want me to be honest.
Onthewing: Good man Frankie. Yeah, maybe we should re-call you honest Frankie?
Frank: I dont think so, Im a stockbroker. How would my clients treat me if they know I was honest?
Onthewing: Sorry, I wont tell the lads in case it might stick. You are now in your late twentys, still living at home with mammy, cant cook yet, dont wash your own cloths, however, but you do buy your own petrol. Where do you see your self in 10 years time?
Frank: Dont know, a bit too far down the line. Why not make it 10 weeks?
Onthewing: Fine so, where do you see yourself in 10 weeks time?
Frank: Glad you asked me that. I see myself as being man of the match in every game Drom-Inch play this year, including challenge matchs, training you name it. Ill be the hero. Also I see myself getting an inter-county call up, well naturally after my dazzling displays on the field, and as I have dragged the team to and winning the county final Ill be captain of the Tipp team, leading them out onto the field in croke park on All_Ireland final day Onthewing . Where are you gone . Onthewing ..
As I hurriedly left before I heard anymore shite from him, I know why he gets everyones number one vote, he certainly will get mine.
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