Andy Bourke – Playgirl
Last Updated on Tuesday, 15 February 2011 10:42 Written by owen.ryan Tuesday, 15 February 2011 10:42
Dear Mr. Burke,
We wish to thank you for your letter and Polaroid pictures that we recently received. We regret, however, that we will not be able to use you as “Playgirl’s Man of the Month Centerfold”.
When rated by our panel of AIW (Average Irish Women) on a scale from 1 to 10, your swimwear photo was rated minus 2. The AIW has determined by our scientific investigation that an unmarried or widowed female age 60 to 75 would be the only person willing to see your picture (assuming they have not had a male companion in 5 years or more).
To further justify our rating, we submitted your photographs to a panel of women in the age bracket 20 to 35, but we couldn’t get them to stop laughing long enough to rate you.
Please be assured that should the taste of Irish women ever change so drastically that bodies of your stature are in demand for our centrefold, you will be notified. Meanwhile, don’t call us, we’ll call you.
Sincerely,
Editor Playgirl Magazine
P. S. Our staff and I wish to take this opportunity to express our deepest heartfelt sympathy to your female companions.
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